Best Man Wedding Toast

Giving a wedding toast is a time honored tradition, as is considerable apprehension and the fear of public speaking associated with delivering an effective toast.

Expectations can run high. Not only does the audience expect a heartfelt statement, but also a little comic relief. To add to wedding toast public speaking anxiety, you're presenting to a very diverse audience (from Grandma June to Uncle Ricky), each with different expectations. Don't fret. With preparation, utilization of our tips for overcoming public speaking anxiety and an effective herbal supplement application, you'll be able to write and execute your wedding toast in style. Here are some tips to consider:

What you should do:

  • Prepare for your wedding toast far in advance (one to two weeks) of your presentation. Jotting something down on a napkin immediately before you present will only make you look unprepared. This approach will likely result in considerable public speaking anxiety.
  • Prepare notes or an outline. Presumably you are not a professional public speaker; no one is expecting to see Barack Obama. Prepare notes that state your wedding toast introduction and transition sentences verbatim (but don't read them verbatim) and outlines your key topics. If possible, do not read anything directly from your notes.
  • Don't assume that everyone in your audience knows who you are. Who are you? What is your name? Why you are giving a wedding toast? Make sure to tell your audience that you are the best man.
  • What is your relationship to the groom and/or other members of the wedding party?
  • Thank the bride and groom for letting you be a part of their day.
  • How long have you known the groom (and possibly the bride, if appropriate) and how did you meet?
  • Tell an endearing story about the groom and/or the groom and the bride. Because you are part of the wedding party, you probably know many good stories involving the groom. Tell a story that is complimentary about the groom without offending the new bride. Make sure it's a story the entire audience can appreciate.
  • Compare notes with the maid of honor. Make sure you are not planning on telling the same story or joke. Hearing your key joke or story being told right before you speak may create unnecessary public speaking fear. In addition, you may also want to decide who goes first and plan a transition between presenters.
  • Remember you're giving a wedding toast; don't forget to hold a glass!
  • A great wedding toast should last five to seven minutes. Most people speak at a rate of roughly 150 words per minute, so plan accordingly. In addition, public speaking anxiety (stage fright) may cause your rate of speech to increase.

What you can do:

  • Thank the parents of the bride and groom during your wedding toast.
  • If you are the first person giving a wedding toast you may want to welcome the wedding guests. However, remember this is not your day. The bride and groom may want to save this for their wedding toast.
  • Introduce other members of the wedding party. Again, check to make sure that the bride and groom are not doing this in their wedding toast.
  • Tell a joke. This is the most risk you can take giving a wedding toast. Timing is everything when you're telling a joke. As a result, your public speaking anxiety/ fear of public speaking may throw off your timing. Remember your audience. A wedding toast may be the only time in your life that you present to two-year-olds and 90-year-olds at the same time. Your joke may bring your friends to their knees in hysterics, but if could offend other members of your audience.
  • Tell a funny story. Public speaking anxiety/fear of public speaking may hamper your efforts. However, telling a funny and endearing story about your relationship with the groom or the couple can be very effective. Again, remember your audience. A little "ribbing" of the groom is acceptable, but make sure he's not offended or truly embarrassed.

What you should never do (not an exhaustive list):

  • Give a canned joke you read on the Internet.
  • Make the wedding toast about you. This is the bride and groom's day, not yours.
  • Refer to past sexual relationships you may have had with any member of the wedding party (or anyone else).
  • Swear during your wedding toast.
  • Give a wedding toast intoxicated.

Joanne Wilgren, Staff Writer ( wilgren.Joanne@bravina.com)

Comments

best man toast

but i'm better w/ a few drinks

Posted by Rick Touhy

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