Groom's Wedding Toast

As the groom, you are not necessarily expected to deliver a wedding toast. The groom needs to deliver a Rehearsal Dinner Toast; however, there is no consensus on the groom’s wedding toast responsibilities.

This is your day and your opportunity to honor your new bride, thank your family and welcome your new family. Take this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to prepare and execute a great wedding toast.

What you should do:

  • Prepare for your wedding toast far in advance (one to two weeks) of your actual speech. Jotting something down on a napkin immediately before you present will only make you look unprepared. This approach will likely result in considerable public speaking anxiety or stage fright.
  • Prepare notes or an outline. Presumably you are not a professional public speaker; no one is expecting to see Barack Obama. Prepare wedding toast notes that state your introduction and transition sentences verbatim (but don’t read them verbatim).
  • Welcome the guests and thank them for coming during your wedding toast.
  • Express your enthusiasm for joining your bride’s family and thank them for welcoming you.
  • Compliment your new bride on her wedding planning.
  • Compliment your mother and new mother-in-law on their hard work preparing for the wedding.
  • Recognize special guests during your wedding toast. This does not mean your long-lost fraternity brother. For example, recognize grandparents that were able to attend. In addition, if you or your bride’s parents are divorced and remarried, be sure to mention these special relationships during your wedding toast.
  • Recognize special individuals who could not attend because of death, disability or otherwise
  • Once you have the formalities out of the way you need to bring the focus of your wedding toast back to your new bride. What attracted you to her? What makes her unique? What do you appreciate about her that may not be obvious to others? Your wedding toast is your opportunity to tell those closest to you your passion for your new spouse.
  • A great wedding toast should last five to seven minutes. Most people speak at a rate of roughly 150 words per minute, so plan accordingly. However, keep in mind that public speaking anxiety (stage fright) can significantly increase your rate of speech.
  • Remember, you’re giving a wedding toast; don’t forget to toast with a glass!
  • Present the wedding toast to your new bride. If you are presenting together, toast to your wedding party, guests or family. If you are toasting alone, make sure your toast focuses on your new bride.

What you can do:

  • If present, mention and thank the person who may have introduced you. In addition, this may be a great segue into a story about how you met.
  • Introduce other members of the wedding party. This is commonly done at the rehearsal dinner, but you may consider a cliff-notes version for your wedding guests who were not present at the dinner.
  • This is an exciting and yet difficult day for your Bride’s father; you may want to thank him specifically for raising such a special person. He will never forget a well-written and articulated wedding toast at his daughter’s wedding.
  • Tell a joke. This is the most risk you can take when giving a wedding toast. Timing is everything when you’re telling a joke. As a result, your public speaking anxiety/ fear of public speaking may really throw off your timing. In addition, remember your audience. A wedding toast may be the only time in your life you are presenting to two-year-olds and 90-year-olds at the same time. Your joke may bring your friends to their knees in hysterics, but may offend other members of your audience.
  • Tell a funny story. Again, public speaking anxiety/fear of public speaking may really hamper you efforts. However, telling a funny and endearing story about your relationship with the bride can be a very effective wedding toast technique. Again, remember your audience. And a little ‘ribbing’ of the bride is acceptable, but make sure she’s not offended or truly embarrassed.

What you should never do (not an exhaustive list):

  • Embarrass your new bride during your wedding toast. Although you may wish to make your high-school buddies crack up, this is not about them. Anything that goes wrong at your wedding will never be forgotten by your wife. Do not create a bad everlasting memory.
  • Give your wedding toast intoxicated. Your wedding toast will be more effective sober. An intoxicated ramble will not be forgotten by your guests or your new bride.
  • Forget to thank your families.

Joanne Wilgren, Staff Writer ( wilgren.Joanne@bravina.com)

Comments

Great Advice!

As a groom who's getting married soon, this is awesome advice! 5 to 7 minutes?? THAT'S A TON OF TIME. No wonder why people get nervous! Any joke examples that have worked?? Thank you for all of your help Bravina!

Posted by C Goodman

Great Stuff!

As a groom-to-be in May, this piece of advice is the best I've found on the Internet! Your product is fantastic and your advice is essential. Thanks for everything Bravina!

Posted by Charles Goodman

Joke

I attempted 2 jokes at my wedding - went 0 for 2- good luck

Posted by Tim Andrews

joke

does my toast have to be funny- I'm not a public speaker- I'd rather not risk it in my own wedding toast

Posted by groom2b

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